Adventures of a Social Mom

A West Coast woman, living in the South… Living loving and laughing everyday

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The Search

The first time I rode my bike farther than I was allowed to go… Was invigorating and scary… And I couldn’t wait to do it again.
I grew up a people pleaser, but always pushing limits… Acting before thinking.
Searching… Looking for my salvation, in drugs or a man or a woman… In music, books, experiences…
Something to save me from this void.
I married, joined a cult, had a child, became a mother… I became aware of an inner strength that gave me perseverance and courage.
But I kept searching…
I loved women, climbed mountains, rafted down rivers, drove miles… Many miles as far as I could go… But I always ended up with myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my needs, and my pain. Forever haunted by an emptiness…
Will I ever fill that void, connect so deeply that I no longer feel alone? Is it even possible or fair to ask these questions of another human being?
The joy of life comes not in human relationships, but in the human experience… Nature, risk, service, compassion, fear, and love…

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